Is Your Schools Coach Getting Fired? Heres Who Your School Should Hire!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 14, 2009 by bigstudaddy50

bridge_burningjpg

(Bring some big fucking marshmallows)

Has your teams coach overseen a large down hill slide after being hired, after your last coach left amongst shady circumstances that will never allow him to enter the state again? Does this coach run the ball directly up the middle on 3rd and 8 with a 180lb slot reciever, only to then go for it on 4th down while your teams down 7, only to lose by 3? Did you just write a 1200 word post on your blog a few days ago (sort of) defending this coach? If these circumstances exist, your coach should probably be fired. These are the guys you may want to see hired.

THE OBVIOUS-

butch jones

Butch Jones:

Current School- Central Michigan

AGE-41

Record as HC- 22-12

Kevin Sumlin

Kevin Sumlin

Current School-Houston

Age-45

Record as HC- 16-6

Bud Foster

Bud Foster

Current School-Va. Tech as Defensive Coordinator

Age-50

Credentials as DC- Has been in the top 20 in scoring defense 7 of last 9 years.

THE HOLY SHIT HE’S GETTABLE-

Mike Leach

Mike Leach

Current School- Texas Tech

Age- 48

Career Record- 82-42

Completely Obscure

Mark Helfrich

Mark Helfrich

Current Offensive Coordinator at Oregon

Age- 36

1st Season as OC at Oregon, considered one of the top rising coaches in the nation.

 

Dear Larry Johnson…..

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 13, 2009 by bigstudaddy50

larry_johnson

 Dear Larry Johnson,

I understand that due to your accidental gay bashing on Twitter(and not your 2.7 ypc) you are now unemployed. I have an employment opportunity for you. In 9 days my buddies and I will be getting together for a Thanksgiving break football game. We have 13 guys. I am writing to you to ask  if you would like to join us as our 14th player so we will have even teams. Now we understand that you might be hesitant to do this. After all, like 8 of us were mediocre High School players. My buddies and I have pooled our money and found $17.56 to pay you to play. I understand that it’s not NFL money but its better than what you have. I look forward to hearing back from you and playing some football with you.

P.S.

You would have to play slot receiver, we’ve got faster guys to play running back. So get on that JUGS machine.

3 Tennessee Vols Arrested for Armed Robbery

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 12, 2009 by bigstudaddy50

 

layla-kiffin-5

(Hint- It wasn’t these 3…)

3 Tennessee Vol football players were arrested last night for what can kindly be called ”retarded behavior”. Nu’keese Richardson, Mike Edwards, and Janzen Jackson, all freshmen, were arrested for armed robbery outside a gas station near campus. How is this any worse than the usual armed robbery? The gas station is owned by a major UT donor. Not just any major UT donor….the one the fucking practice field is named after. Phil Fulmer thinks this is why you need to pay players.

 

 

Fuck Fuck Fuck-Nats Bringing Back Riggleman

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on November 12, 2009 by bigstudaddy50

tom-hallion-jim-riggleman-2009-9-24-0-12-14

Oh this is fucking great. We sign Strasburg. We have some momentum. And what the do we do? Bring back the same shitty manager. Great decision guys! Maybe we’ll only be 40 games outta 1st place this year!

Never Reaching The Bar-WVU Fans Unreasonable Expectations and Inferiority Complex

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on November 10, 2009 by bigstudaddy50

 RichRodriguez

This things going to be long-like Simmons column long, seriously print it out while you take a shit or get something to eat…..

THE INTRO

MajorHarris

As of this writing West Virginia University has won 678 football games since 1891. A lot of big wins. A lot of bowl wins. But the number that haunts Mountaineer fans and to some extent this entire state is zero. Zero National Championships. Zero years when we were, without a doubt THE best team. Now, after the greatest 4 year run in our programs history….we have to come to terms with the fact that we are being passed by teams in our own conference. By Cincinnati- a team that only got into the Big East because of their basketball team. By USF- a program with everything on their side but tradition. By Pittsburgh- our biggest rival. Our fanbase-especially those that were lured in over the past few years, don’t remember being second fiddle to the U. Don’t remember the Nehlen bowl losses. All they know is coming this close, and now that feeling is gone. We are not close to anything but being a 7-5 program. Can we turn it around? No, we can’t. We don’t control anything. Yeah its a public university. And yes you may give money to the athletic department. But you dont control shit. We bitch and moan about Bill Stewart- but every single one of us wanted him after RichRod left. HE’S A WEST VIRGINIA MAN-HE CAN LEAD US! Well we were right and so terribly wrong at the same time.

How we got here.

white

At the end of the 2000 season Don Nehlens very good but rarely great tenure as WVU head coach came to an end. He set the standard for future coaches. If you look at the Nehlen standard you only have to do 3 things to stay WVU head coach-

1) Don’t embarrass the program. Be the anti-Miami.

2) When you have a high level of talent-win 10 games.

3) Make a bowl game 3/4 of the time.

Thats it. Those were the expectations for Rich Rodriguez. He had been a small time college head coach at Glenville State and a very good offensive coordinator at Tulane and Clemson. We thought it was just a good ole’ West Virginia boy, a hard working guy with a quirky offense that was getting his dream job. In reality what we got was part-sleezy salesman, part-offensive genius. The next few years have been hashed and re-hashed over and over. We start to in bring some questionable players. Pac-Man Jones. Chris Henry. Brandon Barrett. Jason Gwaltney. Some of these guys make an impact. Some don’t play a fucking down. We luck into Pat White and Steve Slaton, perfect players for an offense about 2 seasons ahead of everyone else in football. We go into the Georgia Dome and kick the shit out of the Bulldogs. We win 11 games the next season and beat Georgia Tech. Rodriguez turns down Alabama. We ready the fucking statue. This is it. This guy is a mutant version of Bill Walsh and Bill Cowher, he will take us to places we never thought possible, and hes never going to leave. Then it all came crashing down on us.

The Inferiority Complex

wvufan

December 1st, 2007. All we had to do was beat a bad Pittsburgh team to get our shot at a slow Ohio State that in all honesty, we would’ve destroyed. We lose, our coach leaves for Michigan.  Our fan base reacts with all the maturity of a 15-year-old girl. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THERES A BETTER JOB! We make a rash and possibly drunk decision that it was the state-not Rodriguez, that made us great. Bill Stewart is not at fault. He would’ve been the perfect guy to follow Nehlen, to continue the tradition of solid teams. But he can’t take us where our alumni now believes WVU belongs in the college football landscape. In reality-were the middle. We do not have a great in-state base for recruiting. We’re not a high level academic school. All we have is the ”# 1 party school” moniker that our administration stupidly tries to fight, and our history in football. Thats it. Lets be honest with ourselves, Morgantown, WV is not where a kid from Florida who can go to Miami, USC, or LSU wants to be. I mean I love this town…..but then again my other options were Shepherd University or Fairmont State. We are a school that is forced to rely just on our football program to attract recruits….which works if your Ohio St. Our misplaced sense of importance as a football program should’ve ended that day in Pittsburgh, but it never did, and now were stuck with a lot of dumbass, unrealistic alumni. Bill Stewart suffers because of this, Jarrett Brown suffers, and the guys that eventually take their place will suffer if it doesn’t change.

The Future

Marshall WVirginia Football

I heard a great one recently, and this is a perfect example of some WVU fans misguided self importance- Lets fire Bill Stewart and hire Jon Gruden. Jon Fucking Gruden is a Super Bowl winning coach. He currently has a great job as the color analyst on Monday Night Football. After this season he can return to MNF or have his choice of NFL and major college football jobs. If he wants the Notre Dame job-its his. If wants to coach the Cleveland Browns-his favorite team growing up, he can. He will not be the next head coach here. Who will? Well personally im not in the fire Bill Stewart camp. But I know that if not after this season, then after next hes done. He cannot live up to our unrealistic alums expectations. When we hire a new head coach we can’t do it based on pissed off emotion. We can’t hire someone just based on the fact that they happen to be born and educated in West Virginia. The worlds not that small anymore. I want to see the team succeed. I want the bowl victories. I want a national title. But I also want being a WVU fan to be something important. It isn’t about being jealous of the SEC and Big 10. It isn’t about screaming at the Head Coach because hes not Rich Rodriguez. It’s about being the fan base that, win or lose, supports their team. It’s about being the fan base that doesn’t bail and stop going to the games at the first sign of trouble. Its time for the adults in this situation, our alumni, to stop acting like a bunch of know it all pieces of shit. You don’t know the first fucking thing about football so shut the fuck up. If you don’t like it put a green douche in and cheer for Marshall, you fucking prick. Somewhere along the way we stopped being the fan base that was dedicated to their team and became the #1 example of the dick head on the message board posting in ALL CAPS. For the betterment of  the team, lets stop crying at every turn and get back to being the most dedicated, passionate, and loud fans in football. Lets stop the bitching and get back to being West Fucking Virginia. Go Mountaineers!

Whoo-Hoo Fucking Football!

Posted in Uncategorized on November 8, 2009 by bigstudaddy50

jamaal-charles

Its Sunday! Wake the fuck up! Brian Westbrooks out!(Shocker) Anquan Boldins out! Who do I fucking start! This week I picked up Jammal Charles,(Pictured Above) who was noted homophobe Larry Johnsons backup. With Johnson out and on his way outta town, Charles should be the man. Or he’ll probably suck. Enjoy the games!

Southern Comfort and Egg McMuffins-Its some Saturday Morning Ranting

Posted in Uncategorized on November 7, 2009 by bigstudaddy50

wvulouisville

You know whats awesome about fucking insomnia? 2 Egg Fucking McMuffins for 3$. Thats cheap fucking obesity people. If i’m going to get fat and die, I wanna save a buck while I do it. It being a gameday here at WVU, i’ve decided to kick it off in style with some left over Southern Comfort. Its alcohol that tastes like fucking Skittles! Does this game mean much? Nationally-no. Around these parts-Fuck yes.