Dear Larry Johnson…..
Dear Larry Johnson,
I understand that due to your accidental gay bashing on Twitter(and not your 2.7 ypc) you are now unemployed. I have an employment opportunity for you. In 9 days my buddies and I will be getting together for a Thanksgiving break football game. We have 13 guys. I am writing to you to ask if you would like to join us as our 14th player so we will have even teams. Now we understand that you might be hesitant to do this. After all, like 8 of us were mediocre High School players. My buddies and I have pooled our money and found $17.56 to pay you to play. I understand that it’s not NFL money but its better than what you have. I look forward to hearing back from you and playing some football with you.
You would have to play slot receiver, we’ve got faster guys to play running back. So get on that JUGS machine.