Flex This You Fuck!-Week 6 Preview


nfl-tv-maps

 

The NFL, like in most years, has split this year into 3 distict catagories.

(In no particular order)

Fucking Terrible:

Detroit

Cleveland

Carolina

Tampa Bay

KC

Washington

St.Louis

Oakland

Buffalo

Tennessee

Good Enough:

Cincinnati

Houston

Green Bay

Baltimore

Pittsburgh

Jacksonville

Arizona

Seattle

New England

NY Jets

Chicago

Atlanta

Denver

San Diego

Dallas

Miami

San Fran.

Fucking Dominant

Minnesota

NY Giants

New Orleans

Philly

Indy

The list of shitty unwatchable teams is staggering. 10 teams are fucking terrible. 1/3 of the fucking NFL. And guess what….not a single one has a bye this week. So what do the TV networks do? Put the 2 great games on at the same time! Baltimore @ Minnesota and Giants @ Saints. Both at 1pm. At 4pm we are treated to epics like Buffalo @ NY Jets. Way to blow your load NFL. On to the picks….

***1PM***

Houston @ Cincinnati

Matt Schaub looks like a retarded Furby.

Winner- Cincy

Detroit @ Green Bay

Daunte Culpepper will channel his inner Daunte Culpepper with 4 picks.

Winner-Green Bay

Baltimore @ Minnesota

Purple Jesus will be crucified.

Winner- Baltimore

NYG @ New Orleans

This is Jeremy Shockey’s 1st game against his old team. Someone should probably notify Jeremy Shockey.

Winner- New Orleans

Cleveland @ Pittsburgh

Jamal Lewis looks as out of shape and slow as Jerome Bettis circa 2005.

Winner- Pittsburgh

Carolina @ Tampa Bay

Write this down- Josh Johnson is a better QB than Jake Delhomme.

Winner-Tampa Bay

Kansas City @ Washington

Jim Zorn is the coaching eqivalent of Brick Tamland.

Winner- Kansas City

St. Louis @ Jacksonville

If the NFL was a Little League baseball team, St.Louis would the kid in Right Field that is kinda slow and just trys to bunt every time hes up. Jacksonville would be the kid whose parents never show up to anything.

 

***4PM***

Winner- Jacksonville

Arizona @ Seattle

I know nothing about either of these teams. And this is the best 4pm game

Winner- The Buzzsaw that is the Arizona Cardinals

Philadelphia @ Oakland

I imagine that Al Davis and Dan Snyder are good buddies.

Winner- Philly

Tennessee @ New England

Vince Young will throw a pick, take his shirt off, and try to kill himself.

Winner- New England

Buffalo @ NY Jets

”Were goin pussy tubing!”- Dick Juron Rex Ryan

Winner- Jets

Chicago @ Atlanta

Mike Smith is a better coach than the ghost of  Lovie Smith.

Winner- Atlanta

Denver @ San Diego

Float off 09 part 1! Rivers vs Orton!

Winner- Denver

 

 

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