Flex This You Fuck!-Week 6 Preview
The NFL, like in most years, has split this year into 3 distict catagories.
(In no particular order)
The list of shitty unwatchable teams is staggering. 10 teams are fucking terrible. 1/3 of the fucking NFL. And guess what….not a single one has a bye this week. So what do the TV networks do? Put the 2 great games on at the same time! Baltimore @ Minnesota and Giants @ Saints. Both at 1pm. At 4pm we are treated to epics like Buffalo @ NY Jets. Way to blow your load NFL. On to the picks….
Houston @ Cincinnati
Matt Schaub looks like a retarded Furby.
Detroit @ Green Bay
Daunte Culpepper will channel his inner Daunte Culpepper with 4 picks.
Baltimore @ Minnesota
Purple Jesus will be crucified.
NYG @ New Orleans
This is Jeremy Shockey’s 1st game against his old team. Someone should probably notify Jeremy Shockey.
Winner- New Orleans
Cleveland @ Pittsburgh
Jamal Lewis looks as out of shape and slow as Jerome Bettis circa 2005.
Carolina @ Tampa Bay
Write this down- Josh Johnson is a better QB than Jake Delhomme.
Kansas City @ Washington
Jim Zorn is the coaching eqivalent of Brick Tamland.
Winner- Kansas City
St. Louis @ Jacksonville
If the NFL was a Little League baseball team, St.Louis would the kid in Right Field that is kinda slow and just trys to bunt every time hes up. Jacksonville would be the kid whose parents never show up to anything.
Arizona @ Seattle
I know nothing about either of these teams. And this is the best 4pm game
Winner- The Buzzsaw that is the Arizona Cardinals
Philadelphia @ Oakland
I imagine that Al Davis and Dan Snyder are good buddies.
Tennessee @ New England
Vince Young will throw a pick, take his shirt off, and try to kill himself.
Winner- New England
Buffalo @ NY Jets
”Were goin pussy tubing!”- Dick Juron Rex Ryan
Chicago @ Atlanta
Mike Smith is a better coach than the ghost of Lovie Smith.
Denver @ San Diego
Float off 09 part 1! Rivers vs Orton!