Week 1 NFL Picks
It occured to me this morning. After a wild weekend, WVU’s mildly impressive win on Saturday, and a great Monday night Florida St.-Miami game…..ITS TIME FOR THE NFL SEASON! College, besides WVU games, is a cute distraction for me. Oh look at the Mormans! Thay beat up an overrated Oklahoma team! The pro season, on the other hand, is my serious passion. Its an obsession that I can’t get rid of, hence the name of this website is a tackle made famous by an overweight safety, and not Crappy Bowl Games and Dick Head Notre Dame Fans. Every week on Thursday’s i’ll preview and pick every NFL game. On weeks with Thursday games i’ll pick on Tuesday. With that said, heres the picks…..
Tennessee @ Pittsburgh
LenDale White has already thrown down the gauntlet by vowing to stomp a terrible towel on Thursday night. Overweight Steelers fans will hate this since they can’t lift their feet high enough to stomp anything. As far as the actual game goes, Tennesse will miss Albert Haynesworth. Fast Willie and Rashard Mendenhall run wild.
PICK: Steelers 28 Titans 7
Miami @ Atlanta
Noone is really sure if the Dolphins were hiding their wildcat plans for Pat White in the preseason or if they don’t plan to use him. That being said, Miami will shut Turner down and force Matt Ryan to beat them, which he can’t quite do yet.
PICK: Miami 21 Atlanta 17
Denver @ Cinncinatti
Denver is a creative clusterfuck of castoffs and former Patriots. Cinncinatti is a creative clusterfuck of castoffs and former parolees. When it comes down to it, the Bengals have Carson Palmer and the Broncos have Kyle Orton.
PICK: Cinncinatti 42 Denver 28
Minnesota @ Cleveland
My god do I hope Brett Favre gets lit on fire at somepoint this week. The Browns have nothing going for them, literally they are talent-less. Purple Jesus will run all over the Browns shitty defense.
PICK: MINNESOTA 28 CLEVELAND 0
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis
The 1st game of the Jim Caldwell era in Indy will be highlighted by a great passing game and a below average, but opportunistic defense. David Garrard will do the wrong Steve McNair impression by sitting on the sidelines with his eyes rolled back in his head.
PICK: INDIANAPOLIS 24 JACKSONVILLE 10
Detroit @ New Orleans
While I do think Detroit will be much improved this year, if the Saints are as good as I think they will be, then Brees an company put on a show this week.
PICK: NEW ORLEANS 49 DETROIT 10
Dallas @ Tampa Bay
Dallas does one thing good defensively-pressure the QB. Byron Leftwich is the most immobile QB in the league. Dallas ecks out an unimpressive win as Leftwich spends more time on his back that Tila.
PICK: DALLAS 17 TAMPA 6
Philly @ Carolina
The last we saw of Jake Delhomme, he was putting up the worst performance by any QB since Kyle Boller. Like I said in my season preview, this is the year Carolina realizes this group is done as contenders. The Iggles will be solid enough.
PICK: PHILLY 27 CAROLINA 10
Kansas City @ Baltimore
Ladies and Gentlemen, your bloodbath game of the week! With Kansas City QB Matt Cassel gimpy, KC could be playing 3 QBs in this one.
PICK: BALTIMORE 35 KANSAS CITY 0
New York @ Houston
Houston- with stars at QB,RB, AND WR, will have a coming out party against a debuting Mark Sanchez and his entourage.
PICK: HOUSTON 21 NEW YORK 3
Washington @ New York
The Redskins are the worst run organization in football. New York is among the best run. The G-Men run their way to victory.
PICK: NEW YORK 21 WASHINGTON 7
San Francisco @ Arizona
The Niners will be good this year, but Arizona has alot of momentum going into the opener. They will edge- by barely.
PICK: ARIZONA 21 SAN FRAN 17
St. Louis @ Seattle
I loved the Steve Spagnuolo hire. Didn’t like the Jim Mora hire that much. Steven Jackson and a much improved defense lead the Rams to a close victory.
PICK: ST.LOUIS 17 SEATTLE 13
Chicago @ Green Bay
This game will revolve around the 2 QB’s trying to reach everybodys expectations. Cutler will make a late mistake in the most exciting game of the weekend.
PICK: GREEN BAY 38 CHICAGO 35
Buffalo @ New England
Brady will let everyone know hes back with a 5 touchdown game. Edwards will let everyone know hes back with 30 camera shots of him staring confused. J.P. Losman is somewhere smiling.
PICK: NEW ENGLAND 38 BUFFALO 7
San Diego @ Oakland
The AFC West is a utter pile of shit. That being said, Oakland has some things going for themselves in the running game, and the Chargers are still coached by Norv Turner.
PICK: OAKLAND 21 SAN DIEGO 10