32 Dick Jokes/Thoughts About the 2009 NFL Season: AFC Edition
(Takes off pants)
(Blasts Smashing Pumpkins)
Ok im back……
Yes, for the 4 of you out there still reading, I know I never finished the NFL Previews from the old site, I’m lazy. In its place I will cut out the analysis and cut straight to what makes you read this damn thing in the 1st place, my semi-racist jokes. Here it is….
Buffalo Bills: Thanks to their new no-huddle offense, the Bills will set a record for most 3-and-outs in a season.
Miami Dolphins: After week 3 injuries to both Chad Pennington and Chad Henne, Pat White leads Miami to 14 straight wins and the AFC title game.
New England Patriots: Bill Belicheck will smile, creating a rip in the universe.
New York Jets: Mark Sanchez will begin dating Paris Hilton……
Houston Texans: What the fuck is a Houston Texan…..
Indianapolis Colts: Anthony Gonzalez will grow an afro….
Jacksonville Jaguars: QB David Garrard will begin dating a Dave & Busters waitress….
Tennessee Titans: Frustrated by a lack of carries, LenDale White will gain 50lbs of ”tequila weight”.
San Diego Chargers: Phillip Rivers will become the 1st QB in NFL History to receive a intentional grounding penalty due to lack of arm strength…..
Oakland Raiders: Tom Cable will punchout Al Davis, followed by Cable being flown in to the Tennessee Vols next home game for a live sex celebration with Layla Kiffin.
Kansas City Chiefs: Larry Johnson will continue to suck…..
Denver Broncos: Josh McDaniels will get his drivers licence and finally go to prom.
Cleveland Browns: For a team named the ”Browns” they sure do have alot of white fans…..
Cincinnati Bengals: Tank Johnson will learn how to read….
Pittsburgh Steelers: Mike Tomlin will make a guest appearance as Omar Epps twin brother on ”House”.
Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens will go unbeaten, winning the Super Bowl in blowout fashion.