32 Dick Jokes/Thoughts About the 2009 NFL Season: AFC Edition


  kyle-orton-stoned-medium

 

(Takes off pants)

(Chugs Redbull)

(Blasts Smashing Pumpkins)

Ok im back……

Yes, for the 4 of you out there still reading, I know I never finished the NFL Previews from the old site, I’m lazy. In its place I will cut out the analysis and cut straight to what makes you read this damn thing in the 1st place, my semi-racist jokes. Here it is….

AFC EAST

Buffalo Bills: Thanks to their new no-huddle offense, the Bills will set a record for most 3-and-outs in a season.

Miami Dolphins: After week 3 injuries to both Chad Pennington and Chad Henne, Pat White leads Miami to 14 straight wins and the AFC title game.

New England Patriots: Bill Belicheck will smile, creating a rip in the universe.

New York Jets: Mark Sanchez will begin dating Paris Hilton……

 

AFC SOUTH

Houston Texans: What the fuck is a Houston Texan…..

Indianapolis Colts: Anthony Gonzalez will grow an afro….

 Jacksonville Jaguars: QB David Garrard will begin dating a Dave & Busters waitress….

Tennessee Titans: Frustrated by a lack of carries, LenDale White will gain 50lbs of ”tequila weight”.

 

AFC WEST

 

San Diego Chargers: Phillip Rivers will become the 1st QB in NFL History to receive a intentional grounding penalty due to lack of arm strength…..

Oakland Raiders: Tom Cable will punchout Al Davis, followed by Cable being flown in to the Tennessee Vols next home game for a live sex celebration with Layla Kiffin.

Kansas City Chiefs: Larry Johnson will continue to suck…..

Denver Broncos: Josh McDaniels will get his drivers licence and finally go to prom.

 

AFC NORTH

Cleveland Browns: For a team named the ”Browns” they sure do have alot of white fans…..

Cincinnati Bengals: Tank Johnson will learn how to read….

Pittsburgh Steelers: Mike Tomlin will make a guest appearance as Omar Epps twin brother on ”House”.

Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens will go unbeaten, winning the Super Bowl in blowout fashion.

 (Incredible Homer)

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